When it's Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Grief. It is such a heavy word. Grief weighs down upon us, especially during this holiday season when we are surrounded with people experiencing happiness and joy. Many articles are circulating right now regarding stages of grief and coping with grief that have helpful information, but the truth is that grief is not linear. The journey of grief is very different for each of us.

My own family recently experienced an unexpected loss, so we are on this grief journey with you. I understand how you can be going about your usual day, and then the grief will just hit you hard seemingly out of nowhere. Christmas will look very different this year, as our large family gathering will be missing a core member who brought great stories and abundant laughter with his quick wit. His presence will be so greatly missed, and there will be a void. I don’t know yet how this will unfold, but we will gather together to support each other, tell stories and reflect upon the true meaning of the season.

While each of you is in a different place with your grief right now, please remember that you do not have to be by yourself. While there will be times when you want to be alone to process what has happened, I encourage you to also reach out to family and friends for support. When others say “Please let me know how I can help,” most actually mean it. They simply do not know what to do. Tell them. Really. Asking for help can be difficult to do, but please realize that helping you may bring joy to the person providing support to you. Do you need your dry cleaning picked up? Could you use some Christmas cookies but don’t feel like baking? Do you need someone to just come and be with you for an hour, so you aren’t alone? Sometimes you may not even know what you need, but when you are talking to someone, opening up about what you are experiencing can provide help at that moment. 

If you don’t have family or friends that are local, there are organizations and churches offering grief support groups. Some of you may prefer online support. A wonderful resource for that is www.HeartlightCenter.org. You can also explore the grief resources section of our website at www.Skradskifh-kc.com or contact me at Directors@Skradskifh-kc.com. Please be kind to yourself and do not suffer alone.



My Christmas wish for you is to find healing and peace.

About the author: Jenny Mertes serves as the Community Service Director at Skradski Funeral Home. Any opinions expressed here are hers and hers alone and may or may not reflect the opinions of other staff members.